


The Proper Protocols

by IAmANonnieMouse



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Domestic, Eames Stupid Cupid, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Snow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-14
Updated: 2017-02-14
Packaged: 2018-09-24 08:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,139
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9713735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse
Summary: The job’s in Honolulu. Eames is distraught.“Honolulu?” he cries. “Darling, why would you accept that job?”Arthur frowns. “Because Laura’s the extractor, and we trust her, and it has a good payout.”Eames collapses on the couch and moans. “We won’t have snow on Valentine’s Day.”“Okay?”“We can’t have a Valentine’s Day without snow,” Eames adds.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Estelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estelle/gifts).



> For hazelestelle for the Stupid Cupid fic exchange, for the prompt "snow."
> 
> Happy Valentine's Day, everyone!

The job’s in Honolulu. Eames is distraught.

“Honolulu?” he cries. “Darling, why would you accept that job?”

Arthur frowns. “Because Laura’s the extractor, and we trust her, and it has a good payout.”

Eames collapses on the couch and moans.

“Eames,” Arthur says. “It’s a gorgeous beach in the middle of winter. Why are you so…” He gestures vaguely at Eames’ ungraceful sprawl. 

Eames moans again. “We won’t have snow on Valentine’s Day.”

“Okay?”

“We can’t have a Valentine’s Day without snow,” Eames adds.

“Okay. But I already accepted the job for us.”

Eames moans again. “Darling, I don’t know if I can forgive you.”

Arthur sighs and lies down on the couch with Eames and makes him forgive him.

~+~+~

Laura’s organized and quick and observant and a phenomenal extractor, and Arthur loves that, except when those traits extend to his personal life.

“What did you do to Eames?” she asks him at the end of their first day.

He arches a brow. “What makes you think I did anything?”

She smirks. “He’s barely teased you all afternoon, and he’s only called me ‘petal’ once.”

Arthur can’t help but laugh at that. “He’s losing his touch.”

Laura smiles. “Clearly.”

“You know, I can hear you,” Eames says as he crosses the room and perches on the edge of Arthur’s desk. “And I am not losing my touch. I’m getting so good that I can make you _think_ I’m losing my touch.” He grins.

Laura nods solemnly. “I see.”

Arthur leans back in his chair and suppresses a smile as Eames’ knee knocks against his. “Eames is disappointed that we’re in Honolulu.”

Laura gestures at the sun-drenched beach outside their window. “You’re disappointed about _that?”_

Eames says, “Valentine’s Day is next week. We won’t have snow on Valentine’s.”

Laura turns to Arthur. “Is he serious?”

“Very,” Arthur says.

She looks back at Eames. “Snow.”

“You can’t have a proper Valentine’s Day without snow,” Eames says.

“Sand,” Laura argues. “Sun. Warmth. Beach!”

“Valentine’s Day,” Eames says.

Laura sighs and walks away. “This is why I’m not in a relationship.”

~+~+~

“I’m sorry I took a job for us on Valentine’s Day,” Arthur says that night when they’re in bed.

Eames wraps an arm around Arthur. “Don’t be silly, darling. If there isn’t an ocean or continent between us, I’m perfectly content.”

Arthur laughs. “We have such low standards.”

Eames hums and nuzzles the back of Arthur’s neck. “Never,” he murmurs. “We have the highest standards in the world.”

~+~+~

Arthur can’t stop thinking about snow. A page of his notebook is filled with his various ideas to get Eames snow for Valentine’s, ranked in order of decreasing feasibility.

At the top of the page is the name of a company that will ship bucket-loads of snow across America _for that holiday spirit,_ but its prices are exorbitant and Arthur doesn’t think that ordering a metric ton of snow through the internet screams _romance._

At the very bottom of the page is, _Write to Santa for a belated Christmas delivery._

He’s a little desperate.

Laura snorts when she catches a glimpse of his laptop screen. “This,” she says, “is definitely why I’m not in a relationship.”

Arthur turns to her. “How do I give Eames snow for Valentine’s Day?”

“You expect me to know?” Laura asks.

He shrugs.

“You’re the best point man in dreamshare, Arthur. You tell me.” She laughs at him as she walks away.

Arthur stares. “Laura,” he says, “you’re the best.” He grabs the PASIV.

~+~+~

“Working on Valentine’s,” Eames sighs in the early morning. He pulls on a shirt covered with hot pink-colored hearts. “You’re lucky I love you, darling.”

Arthur smirks. “You mean I’m lucky you’re terrified of Laura.”

“Same difference.” Eames looks at Arthur’s outfit. “Wear the pink tie, darling? For me?”

“How can you be so sure I packed it?”

Eames smirks. “You packed it.”

Arthur sighs and pulls the neon-pink tie out of his suitcase.

~+~+~

The warehouse is empty when they arrive.

“Laura’s running late?” Eames questions as they set down their things.

Arthur shrugs as walks over to the PASIV and unspools two lines. “Come here,” he says, smiling. “I want to show you something.”

~+~+~

They’re standing in their backyard, which is covered in several feet of snow. Eames whoops excitedly as he dives into the nearest snowbank.

 _“Darling!”_ he cries, tossing handfuls of snow in the air. “did you get me snow for Valentine’s Day?”

“I know it’s not real,” Arthur says from where he’s standing on the porch, “but I couldn’t figure out how to get you actual snow in time, and—”

Eames throws a handful of snow at him. “You got me snow for Valentine’s Day!”

Arthur sighs and wraps his scarf tighter around his throat. “Yeah,” he admits. “I sort of did.”

Eames trudges through the snow to Arthur’s side and hugs him tightly, pressing his cold nose against Arthur’s cheek. “I love you, darling,” he murmurs.

Arthur closes his eyes and breathes in Eames’ warm scent and smiles. “I love you, too.”

There’s a pause. Then, Eames says, “You know what this means, darling.”

“Yeah, I do,” Arthur sighs. “Snowball fight.”

Eames grins. “I’ll give you a ten-minute head start so you can perfect your fort.”

Arthur is still smoothing down his walls when Eames throws the first snowball. It catches Arthur by surprise and hits him in the face.

“Eames!” he shouts, blindly making his own snowball and lobbing it across the yard. He hears Eames cackle.

The fight goes on until Arthur’s fingers are numb in his snow-sodden gloves, and both their faces are beet-red from the cold. They stop for some hot chocolate and sit together in front of the fireplace in the dream-replica of their home.

Eames sighs deeply. “Thank you for this, darling.”

“I’m sorry it’s not the real thing,” Arthur says.

“Stop that.” Eames shifts next to him and pokes him on the nose. “You won’t be apologizing when you see _my_ surprise for you.”

Arthur frowns. _“Your_ surprise? Eames, what—”

Eames puts a finger over Arthur’s mouth and glances at his watch. “You’ll know soon, darling.”

~+~+~

Arthur wakes gradually, still basking in the warmth from the fire and from Eames’ body curled around him. He stretches languidly, smiling. Then, he registers the unfamiliar weight on his finger. He slowly opens his eyes and looks down at his left hand.

“Eames,” he says, staring at the gold band around his finger.

“What is it, darling?” Eames sits at his side and grins.

Arthur hesitates. “You don’t even know if I’ve said yes yet.”

“Arthur.” Eames leans in and kisses him. “Of course you’ll say yes.”

“Of course,” Arthur says, smiling. He wraps his arms around Eames. “Best Valentine’s Day ever,” he whispers into Eames’ ear.

“It has to be,” Eames responds. “We had snow.”


End file.
